U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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