Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
