Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
