I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
