Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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