I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
