So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
this is an emotional support booty call
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
