hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
