im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
