you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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