Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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