Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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