He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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