Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
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