This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
His nipple licking is glorious
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
