Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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