i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
