He asked me if I "almost moaned"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
