Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
