i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
