My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the condom got lost in my hair
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
