She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
