I cannot find my penis.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
