your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
