Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
