clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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