my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
then he tried to convert me to islam
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
