That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
