Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
well you can't waste a boner
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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