love makes seman taste better
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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