i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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