In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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