Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
