She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
