Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
