Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
