SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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