You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
