see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
