That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
