Apparently you make a good broom.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There's a naked man in my car right now.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
