where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
