in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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