That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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