I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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