Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I believe in your delicious
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
