shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
