He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize