The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
