38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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