Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
