I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
