Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize