My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
