Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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