I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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